Chocolate
by BoxOfBirds
Summary: There are four problems in my life: The Building, Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes, my height, and the video store I work at. AU IchiRuki :
1. What I Wouldn't Do

**disclaimer: **no own.

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_Chocolate_

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"Stop staring at the building Rukia, people will think you're gonna bomb it or something." said Rangiku, the woman with what may be the largest pair of fun bags you might have ever seen. She also works with me….at the video store.

No, I'm not a failure in life. (Not that I consider people working in video stores to be failures…sort of.)

It's just my job for the time being until I work in The Building.

The Building that I'm referring to is the building a block away from the video store, the building that has the shiniest windows, numerous amount of floors/levels (thus leading to the immensely tall-ness of it), and the most professional people with briefcases working in it.

I really want to work there.

Like if the President of The Building just walked right on by and if I knew what he looked like I would just plop right on down the ground and beg to work there.

I'm not even joking.

The only problem is that I'm eighteen, probably not eligible enough to work there yet, and the college I go to isn't the right college for the business field of The Building.

"How can I not Matsumoto? It's…it's beautiful." I breathed.

"It's a building. A building probably filled with a bunch of snobs that make old people pay taxes." She replied, looking bored and staring at The Building as well.

Rangiku doesn't seem to understand the concept of 'I know the price of success: dedication, hard work, and an unremitting devotion to the things you want to see happen.'

Ugh, she's way too laidback.

"How can you not see that working at a video store isn't fulfilling?" I asked, thinking I should've brought a lawn chair if I was going to stare at The Building for so long. My feet were starting to hurt a little.

She rolled her eyes and grabbed my arm, pulling me away in the direction of the dreaded video store.

I should've worked at a coffee shop. But _everyone_ works there. And it's a little cliché.

"You work there; you make money, deal with it." Rangiku said.

I sighed and followed her to my job.

My job that is lame.

(Frowny face)

_.XoXo._

The video store I work at is relatively peaceful. There's the occasional group of annoying teenagers snickering at the cover of a porno, the hobo who rents movies…which is really strange because how does he have a TV? Whatever. There's the overgrown nerds who rent all the Star Wars movies, Star Trek series, and the Battlestar Galactica series.

I give them props for knowing so much though.

"Noo!" Shrieked a woman on the TV I was watching.

Blech, some sort of zombie movie. I scrunched my nose and took the movie out, walking out of the front desk and towards the romance isle.

Yes, I am a romantic.

I'm not the cheesy kind where they flail around and daydream about smoldering love making all day. That's Momo.

I walked into the romance isle and found a guy staring at the movies on a shelf in front of him. He sort of looked like he was constipated with the semi angry look he had on his face. And he was really tall, his hair was orange, which is kind of weird but it somehow suited him.

Not exactly knowing what to say or do, I just stood there, watching him as he was staring at the romance movies.

"Do…you need help?" I asked unsurely after a minute or so.

The tall person looked at me in surprise, finally noticing I was standing right next to him. "What do you mean?" He asked a little roughly.

Gosh did he look like an angry person. I mean, I thought I was angry in the morning but looking at him just made me think otherwise. "I was just asking if you needed help picking a movie. Jeez."

He blinked. "Oh."

Ugh, it just got even more awkward. "So…" I started, not really sure what to say since he gave me a non-helpful monosyllabic answer.

"Do you know where Sleepless in Seattle or Two Weeks Notice is? I can't find it anywhere." He finally responded, his voice sounding strained and his face not in my direction.

My eyes went wide.

….what?

Are you some emotional bad ass?

Am I missing something?

Apparently he read my mind because he turned to me with a scowl and said. "Not for me genius." I frowned. Way to make a girl feel special. His eyes glanced at me. "My friend's girlfriend is coming over tonight and he wanted me to get a movie for them."

I stared at his face for a moment.

Okay, I have to admit. This fellow has his looks goin' for him. If it were Renji that sarcastically called me a genius I would've punched him in the gut until he apologized forty times.

But this guy… and his eyes…maybe I'm going insane.

"Hurray for caring friends." I said dryly. He rolled his eyes. His…beautiful…brown-ish amber eyes…

I turned my back to him and went to go find the two movies he mentioned.

Unfortunately I am a fan of _many_ chick flicks. That's why I was ashamed to remind myself when he asked for the two chick flick movies that I had them under the counter of the front desk (which is where I normally sit for my shift and watch movies all day) because yesterday I repeatedly watched them on the TV in here.

"So do you want both movies or just one?" I asked, sitting behind the front desk, grabbing the two movies, and watching as he followed me to the cash register.

"Yeah sure, both. I don't care, they're stupid anyway." He said, his eyes wandering around the store.

It felt weird because for some odd reason, the entire time when I finally noticed he was in the store he had my attention. God I must seem like a real creep, watching him.

Why didn't I see him walk through the front door though?

I shrugged.

"You're not gonna get anything for yourself?"

He looked at me with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe later. I hardly have any time for movies."

My jaw dropped. Does that make me a loser? Because I have all the time in the world to watch movies!

Did he just insult me?

"Oh." What am I supposed to say that? I handed him the movies and he gave me the money, heading towards the exit.

Hardly have time for movies? Is he insane?

The bell on the top of the door rang, signaling that he left (or someone walked in) and I sighed, starting to hit my head on the counter repeatedly, not thinking how many brain cells I was going to have left afterwards.

"What's wrong with you?" Asked Matsumoto as she came in from the back of the store, her face saying 'What the hell? Are you having a seizure? 'Cause if you are you know I'm not calling the hospital.'

"I'm socially inept." I mumbled, my lips touching the counter as I spoke.

She came towards me and patted my back. "There, there. Are you on your period? I have some Midol in my purse if you need some. Or did someone comment on how short you are? You always get mopey when someone mentions that."

I groaned. "No. Now go get me that Drew Barrymore movie will you?"

"The one where she hit her head and there's something about a pineapple?" Rangiku asked, her fingers playing with my hair.

"No, the other one where she goes to high school again because she's like some sort of undercover reporter and you just feel bad for her because it's like…fuck."

"The Never Been Kissed one?" She asked, walking away from me to find it.

"Yeah." I grabbed a bag of Sour Patch Kids, gummy bears, a Sprite, and a leather stool towards the television, wondering if I should get a box of donuts as well. Mm, the glazed ones sound nice.

Matsumoto walked up to me with a handful of movies and I raised my eyebrow at her. "I'm leaving in fifteen minutes to go pick up Momo, so I won't be back 'til six but I thought since my shift ends at seven thirty I might as well just stay home. If the boss asks where I am tell him I got off early."

I glared at her. "Thanks for sticking around pal."

She smiled condescendingly. "Glad you understand. That's also why I brought you the movie you asked for, as well as Emma, The Notebook, the second Lord of the Rings movie since I know you love it so much, and Marley & Me."

"Jeez, how long am I supposed to stay here? Am I covering your shift as well?"

"Yep. So you're staying here until around eleven and you're gonna close up because Hisagi didn't show today."

I sighed. "Alright. Hand over the movies and get me that chair in the back with the fancy pattern. Tell Momo to call me when she's finished unpacking."

Matsumoto hugged me. "You're such a doll Rukia."

When she left I took my shoes off and turned one of the movies on.

Great.

Seven more hours until my shift is over.

Let's hope I don't get too overjoyed.

_.XoXo._

By ten fifteen (pm. It was flippin dark as hell outside) Marley & Me was almost over and I was sniffing like a kid whose pet goldfish got flushed down the toilet (although this was a bit worse…), one hand wiping the tears off my face because Marley, the dog in the movie was dying and it was downright sad, and the other hand wiping the runny snot underneath my nose.

I'm not always this emotional but this movie just brings out the inner tears of the kid who never had a dog but still cries over one.

The bell on top of the door rang but I ignored it, crying and sniffing even more because now Marley was on his deathbed and Owen Wilson was nearly in tears as well.

I am never watching this movie again. Especially if I'm gonna cry this much.

Oh god, could this movie be any sadder?

I sniffed again and wiped my snot on my sleeve. Lucky I was wearing a long sleeve shirt.

"Are you done sobbing or am I going to have to go and get a box of Kleenex and wait?"

I looked up and gasped.

Fuck.

"Uhh…"

There he was.

Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes in the flesh, standing right in front of me with a scowl on his face.

"Whaff…" Damn it, I'm speaking gibberish.

He stared at me, his eyes bored and his lips pulled down. "I'm just getting some movies."

At ten nineteen at night? What are you? A vampire? Jeez.

I sniffed and tried not to think of what my face looked like at the moment. Probably disastrous. And red. And puffy.

"Sure. One sec." Still sniffing and sounding awfully nasal-y, I pushed the pause button on the television.

Turning my back on him, I smacked my face and tried not to look too morose.

"Have you already found the movie you wanted?" I asked, turning back and looking at the movies in his hands.

He handed them to me, staring at my probably red or pink face.

"So did your friend and his girlfriend enjoy the movies?" I was still putting a disc into the case, hoping I wasn't smudging the disc. Customers get so angry when their DVD isn't working. It's not my fault that other people don't know how to take care of a damn DVD.

"Yeah. They made me watch it with them. Considering I don't like chick flicks it was pretty hard to sit and endure it."

I snorted. "Typical male."

He smirked. "Pretty typical of a female to cry watching a movie about a dog."

Okay, I am not a robot like some people. Movies with poor animals dying are my weak point. And Beauty & the Beast. Oh gosh, whenever Beast is all sad because Belle just tears up my heart.

"Hey! I heard that even grown males cried while watching Marley & Me! And I have very sensitive tear ducts, so it's not my fault." I retorted, putting another disc into the last case.

Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes scratched the back of his head and rolled his eyes. "_Sure_."

"Whatever. Coming from a macho guy renting a drug dealer movie, an Adam Sandler movie and Family Guy season five you wouldn't understand."

I handed him the movies, feeling awkward because this already happened about seven hours ago.

Biting my lip and frowning I was tempted to say, "Don't trip on the door mat." Oh but I'm much too nice.

I un-paused the movie and watched as Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes left.

For the second time today I saw him exit the video store.

Shucks, I didn't even get to know his name.

At the door he stopped, turning to me with a smirk and said "By the way, don't you think you have too much time on your hands to watch all those movies in one day?"

I blinked, not fully taking in what he just said.

Wait a minute…

Mother of Renji's dead goldfish Phillipe and all the different kinds of cheeses in the world, how _dare_ he!!

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**a/n:** nomnomnom. i need a foot rub. care to review? :D


	2. Shoulders & Arms

**disclaimer:** TIGER LILIES! not moine.

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_Chocolate_

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I broke my leg.

It's extremely funny because One, I don't play sports at all because I look like a moron while playing them, and Two, now I have crutches that are too tall for me so I look more than ridiculously short.

It happened while I was walking down the stairs of my apartment and then I somehow tripped and missed about four steps and crashed down to the floor.

For maybe twelve minutes I stared at the ceiling wondering what the hell happened and why my leg hurt so much.

Surprisingly the only noise of agony I had was when I watched my foot miss the stair and then scream the F word.

The only person there to witness this moment of excruciating pain was the daughter of my next door neighbor, who's like seven or eight years old and has green hair and _clearly _doesn't know what to do when a person is lying on the floor with a leg that looks a little less than contorted. I was tempted to yell at her to call an ambulance but then she'd tell her mom and then she'd probably file a complaint.

What a bitch of a moment it was.

I ended up standing on my own, wobbling the entire time, holding the hand of the genius little green haired girl so I wouldn't trip again, and hopping on the non-broken leg the entire way to the landlady's office.

The landlady put me in a wheelchair and wheeled me to the hospital; my next door neighbor's daughter was still with us for some reason and looked rather confused.

While in the hospital I found out the green haired girls name. (Ha, after I've lived next door to her for a year.)

Nel is one of those annoying kids where if you tried to make her shut up by putting your hand to her mouth she'd lick it and make you remove your hand in disdain because of all the saliva the kid left on it.

"Dear God Rukia, you look horrible." Rangiku said, watching me (instead of helping me) as I got inside of her car, picking me up to take me to work to the…stupid damned video store.

"Thanks Matsumoto, that's what I was going for." I responded lamely, struggling to get inside my seat, still not getting any assistance.

Man do I need a banana nut pie right about now.

_.XoXo._

As we passed The Building on our way to work I couldn't help but sigh. Stupid…stupid…damn it.

"Can you believe what I saw on the news?" Matsumoto started. "This lady has like forty six cats and refuses to let anyone take care of them. She barely ever leaves her house for those things. Don't be offended but I swear that lady reminded me of you."

I sighed again. "In the next twenty years probably. I was thinking about buying a cat on Tuesday. Maybe that'll lead to forty six."

She nodded. "But you have me so I can help take care of them too."

"Great."

It's only been about a week or so since I've had the crutches and my doctor said it's fine to go back to work in a week, since you know I _do_ work at a video store. Not much daredevil stuff goin' on there.

I was sort of sad because I probably missed the day when Mr. Spectacular Amber-Brownish Eyes returned his macho movies. At least I brought new movies to watch during work.

Matsumoto parked, got out of the car, and walked inside the store, not even waiting to hold the door for me.

Feeling aggravated, I crutched my way to the front door and tried in vain to open the heavy glass door.

Since my ripped muscles (what a knee slapper) were feeling soar from lugging myself around on uncomfortable pain inflicting crutches in the past week and all day today, I couldn't open the door.

I stood outside banging on the door and screaming "BITCH OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!" while waiting for someone to open the door so I could yell at them until their ears bled.

_.XoXo._

"You know they have therapy for these sort of things." Hinamori said pointedly on the phone with me.

"When you say 'these sort of things' are you referring to my movie craze? If you are then you're completely wrong, and stop nodding, I know you're nodding." Oh how I love Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, that beast of a man from X-Men.

As always, I was sitting at the counter watching a movie, Australia, and sipping on tea.

There was a commercial on TV that said tea helps relax the nerves and clear your mind. Maybe I should take yoga or something when these stupid crutches are off.

On the other side of the phone Hinamori laughed, "I'm not nodding I'm just physically saying yes. There's a difference. And maybe we should get rid of the television in the house so you won't complain about that strapping young man who made fun of you. Too much television is bad for your health."

I blew a strand of hair out of my face. "Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes did not make _fun_ of me. He _insulted_ me. And I'm drinking tea for my health. Do you realize how much hard work and effort there is in making your own tea?"

I could imagine Hinamori rolling her eyes. "Whatever, I'm right either way, so stop complaining and stop watching Australia, we already watched it last night." Hinamori sounded amused. "There's a reason it's recommended people should only watch TV for two hours. By the way, no, tea is not hard to make. You just don't know how to boil water. So just because you're on a crutch doesn't make it any harder." Damn it.

You know that annoying thing people do when they try to mimick you? I was about ready to go into that mode. "Hinamori you're making me question why you called me in the first place. I could've just screened your call and not picked up at all. But then I'd be locked out of my apartment by the time I get home."

"Exactly, and I called you because I'm stuck in the apartment until five thirty and I don't know the password for the locked stuff on the TV."

People are users. I am in the middle of a great movie and my stupid roommate has to call me to watch TV? Eat my effing shorts! "Don't say stuff. I hate that word." Okay, I'm gonna hang up in five seconds. Five, four, three, tw—

"What the hell is the password Rukia?"

Someday I'll push her out a window. Not one of those low windows where it's like a one foot jump. Those windows where it's like the guy from Transporter jumps out of and somehow lands safely on a car.

Anyway…

"Is it your birthday date?" She asked accusingly.

Crap.

I coughed.

"Thanks, bye Rukia." Hinamori said before she hung up. Ugh, I could hear the condescending-ness in her voice.

Am I that predictable? Jeez.

_.XoXo._

No Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes today. That's a little sad. But duh, what am I expecting? What sane person with a social life goes to a video store just to hang out?

(Although it is only six o clock.

People still go to the video store after six.)

-cough-

Ew, I'm sounding like some lovesick high school kid. Yuck. Next subject.

Renji bought me a pair of binoculars.

I'm pretty happy because I get to look out the window, which is kind of large, and spy on my neighbors and the people who are just walking around…and I just realized how creepy that sounds.

However, it relieves me of boredom when I get back from work. I can even see in the dark with them. They're totally something Renji bought from those kids' commercials where they show that little boy spying on his family.

…Except that's so not me. Plus I'm not some little boy probably going through puberty and making maybe more money than I do in a month.

Fack.

I'm gonna kill that little boy.

For the past hour and a half that I've been sitting here with my leg propped up and wrapped up in a blanket, with my view of the park across the street, I've found out this much about my neighbors and the people who walk around in the courtyard and street: there's a lady with four birds who she makes kissy lips to and sings (not so well) to. I sort of feel bad for the poor birds but they don't seem to mind in the least. There's this adorable old couple that bicker in a foreign language that I think is Russian and then get very passionate for a couple of their age…that's where it gets rated R children, I won't go into details. I prefer not think about it either. Surprisingly there are also nudists who don't seem to notice the shocked expressions they get when they answer the door. Ahh, nothing like seeing a nice pack of nakedness when you open a door. My favorite neighbor, or person who lives in the general area near me, is this ancient man with pouty lips who has old movie posters from the 20's or 40's on all of his walls and doesn't do anything all day except sit outside in a lawn chair with a cat in his lap and have an old, and when I say old I mean _very _old, bulky cell phone, like the one from Friends that Phoebe has and it's all beige, pressed to his ear. Oh and he has the most amazing pair of slippers I've ever seen! They're knitted with red and brown and have faces on them. How much cooler can he get?

Sometimes when I look at him I think of Dr. Evil. You know, with the way he pets his cat, and the balding of his head.

Although I do think there's a connection between us. He doesn't know it but I'm completely aware of it.

Speaking of connections and, ahem, attractions, I swore I saw Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes walking on the sidewalk! I'm serious! I nearly dropped my binoculars in shock and screamed at him to look at me. Obviously that would've been awfully stupid since I'm up on the second floor and the sidewalk is quite a many yards away.

I still couldn't help but give an "Eep!!" when I saw him as he walked by.

Why is it that I'm the one stuck in my small apartment thinking about him?

Shouldn't he be thinking about me and my witty comments?

I don't attempt to be witty for nothing.

I still can't believe what he said to me earlier though. What a complete butt face.

I do too have a life! Well, he didn't say that I didn't have a life…but he definitely insinuated it.

What kind of moron doesn't have enough time for movies? He certainly hasn't had a movie Star Wars marathon in his life. He's so missing out…

Bitch.

Maybe I can get Renji to come over and watch the neighbors with me. Maybe then it won't be as creepy as me just sitting at the window by myself.

Heck, we could even make up conversations for the dirty old Russian couple!

Woah did I come up with a great idea.

Oh god, I'm all over the place. I can't even think straight.

Stupid Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes and his mind wrenching comments.

_.XoXo._

Damn it.

There's a knock at the door.

And buttface Hinamori left me here until midnight.

Ugh, I wish I had a dog that could open the door for me.

A dog with opposable thumbs.

Yeah, that'd be great.

Too bad I don't have one at the moment.

Maybe the person will just go away.

…

Crap another knock!

This is shear cruelty! Making me hobble my way to the door when I don't have my crutches on me!

Struggling my way to the door I was sort of hoping that it'd be free Chinese food, but like Byakuya always says, 'nothing in life is ever free'.

I opened the door to find air and a musty hallway.

What the hell?

Is someone trying to mess with me? Because if they are I can totally still kick ass while being handicapped!

Unless they trip my one leg that actually functions.

"Hello lady." A small voice said.

I looked down. Oh. It's _her_. The little twerp with green hair who didn't help me when I fell down the stairs and just stared at me.

Trying hard not to frown, I said "Hi."

There was a pregnant pause and I didn't know if this kid just came over to say hello or if she actually needed something.

Nel stared up at me with a large smile, still not saying anything.

Okay…kind of creepy.

"Umm…is there something you wanted?"

She nodded.

I sighed. Do I have to ask everything around here? "Well do you know what it is?"

Again, Nel nodded.

My eyes wanted to pop out and eat her. "Could you please tell me?"

She blinked.

…LITTLE GIRL IF YOU DON'T TELL ME RIGHT NOW I'LL FEED YOU TO A CROCODI—

"Mommy wants to know if you can baby sit me for the next two and a half hours." Said Nel's sweet little voice, a grin filled with missing teeth plastered on her face.

"Oh."

What the hell?

Do I look like a babysitter?

"Umm."

"Mommy says she can pay you." Nel insisted, her eyes seeming to widen.

I stared down at her eyes. Aww, they're so cute. How am I supposed to resist?

"Yeah, I guess it's fine." No, I'm not a sucker for little kids. That's final. I think..

"Okay." Nel said, walking past me into my apartment.

I blinked and turned towards her. "Wait, right now?"

Nel nodded and found a spot on the recliner.

Great, my Spying on Neighbors time has been interrupted.

Not cool.

_.XoXo._

"So what am I supposed to feed you?" It's not like she's some kind of animal, but I still have no idea what Nel's mom wants me to feed her. I mean, what if I accidentally poison her or something worse?

Nel stood beside me in the kitchen and looked in my pantry.

As you might know I'm not the healthiest human being on the planet, so most of my food contains about eight hundred or more calories.

Not what I consider kid stuff. Oh wait no, that's wrong isn't it?

"We could have a marshmallow, barbeque sauce, and pineapple sandwich." She suggested innocently.

What kind of messed up kid did I get stuck with? "A what?" I asked.

Nel looked at me with round eyes. "You've never had one? They're really good. My mom and Orihime always used to make them for me. You can also bake them or toast them."

I coughed. "I'd rather not empty my bowels tonight."

She blinked at me, not understanding what I said.

"Nevermind kid."

_.XoXo._

Unfortunately, I ended up having that weird marshmallow, barbeque sauce, pineapple _thing._ The odd part of it was that the aftertaste was just like cereal.

The green haired kid trapped me into making and eating it by crying and nearly murdering my ear drums.

I have to say though; the good thing about baby sitting this creep of a kid is that I found a movie buddy that won't make fun of me for watching so many movies, when she herself has sort of been deprived of all the good movies.

I'm talking about the animated Disney movies and the epic Harry Potter series.

Yes, I like Harry Potter.

I even have a shirt that says 'Dumbledore's Army.'

Don't judge.

We were coming up on the end of our second movie, Tarzan, (dear god I love Tarzan and his loin cloth!) when I realized that it was nine o clock pm.

"Nel what time do you have to go to bed?" I asked, yawning and moving underneath the comfy blanket. It'd definitely be horrible if I fell asleep on the first time I ever babysat a stranger's kid.

What if she wrecked my apartment?

Nel yawned as well and snuggled underneath the blanket that I was, somehow, sharing with her. "When mommy gets home." She responded, her eyelids seeming to get heavy.

I blinked myself awake so I wouldn't fall asleep before she did. "I think you should get to sleep." I stated, fighting sleep.

There wasn't any response.

I turned to look at her and she was knocked out.

Hallelujah.

_.XoXo._

I was late for work.

Ha, that's a laugh.

But no really, I was.

Hinamori had to come get me on her lunch break and drop my limp ass self to work.

Rangiku seemed annoyed since she kept saying "Does anything wake you up?"

Apparently all that neighbor watching and Nel containing made me tired enough that I woke up at twelve twenty pm.

Except I did get a free smoothie courtesy of Shuuhei.

Smiley face.

Today I decided to watch Shrek 2 since I love the part where the Fairy Godmother sings 'I Need a Hero' and I was definitely in the mood for it.

Besides, it's not like anything exciting ever happens around here.

On the other hand, it'd be really cool if this place had animals in it. Then I'm sure it'd be much more fun. Or not.

"You have bags under your eyes." Said a deep voice that sounded like chocolate to my ears but was strangely familiar.

Dreamily, I couldn't help but smile and think what a nice voice this person had.

I looked up at the said chocolate voice and I jerked in surprise.

_What the hell?_

"Mr. Spectac—" Oh boy.

I spilled my smoothie on him…

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**a/n:** i actually wouldn't mind eating some cake right about now. anyway, too long? would you mind pushing that exuberant looking button right there that says review, i think something magical might happen for you...like a balloons will pop out or something. :)


	3. LoveFool

**disclaimer:** boomchakalaka. not mine, but i'll dominate someday...

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_Chocolate_

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Last night I had a dream that Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes proposed to me. My response?

Well duh, saying yes and crying into his arms of course. Although I do think if someone ever asked me to marry them my first reaction would be "What the fu—" and then I'd sort of just stand there like an idiot and make the entire situation even more awkward.

Not that anyone would propose to me. My fingers are like the size of those small weenie's that you put on a stick and eat as party dishes, so the possibility of getting a ring to fit on any of my fingers other than my thumb is zero.

It is a shame though. The entire dream was very lovely. Minus the crying. Except since it was a dream I cried like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. So it actually wasn't _that_ bad.

"Please, just murder me and send me to Tim Burton. He'll understand what to do with my corpse." I groaned against the pillow. It actually smelled good though, aside from the little drool I left on it. I took Nel with me to the Laundromat and used a good dose of Downy on all my bed sheets. I could sniff this pillow all day.

My previous encounter with Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes wasn't so pleasant. For one thing, I am the most incoherent and misinterpreted female who wears Snoopy helmets, apparently I can't hold anything without dropping it or spilling it on something or _someone_, and I have no life.

Yes, this is the stuff that belongs on the headlines of newspapers.

Maybe I'm just awkward twenty four seven and become even more awkward once the person I like shows up. Ugh, he probably thinks I don't own a brain. Which I do, it just doesn't work when I'm around him. Like it goes into stand by mode and doesn't turn back on until I stop looking at his face…if that makes any sense.

"Sweetheart, you're never gonna get anywhere with an attitude like that." Matsumoto said, helping Hinamori make lunch for us.

Psshh. My attitude is completely and wholly optimistic. There is nothing but happy thoughts flowing through my head. I groaned again, but the sound came out more like a muffled dinosaur.

"You complain too much Rukia, you know that?" Momo stated, sounding a little preoccupied.

Ha, like I didn't know that before. The only response I could come up with was another muffled grunt of frustration. Why am I the only one in this stupid apartment that doesn't make any sense? If I'm that socially inept I might as well become a hermit and pretend the light burns me. Although it'd be very cool if I could sparkle. There's always Hello Kitty body glitter that I've got in the bathroom. Hmm…I might be a genius.

"There you go again with the attitude thing dear." Matsumoto commented, a smile in her tone.

I lifted my head and turned over on my back. Oh, I smell spaghetti. "My attempts at being witty are completely failing and I've recently spilled a smoothie on my possible love interest. If that's what you'd even call my perception of him." I sighed, snuggling deeper in the bed sheets that were on me. I had made my own bed on the living room couch and hadn't moved since I woke up, which was like three hours ago.

"I just think you're psycho." Hinamori mumbled, thinking I didn't hear her.

I jerked up, ready to throw a pillow at her and ended up getting whiplash from getting up too fast.

Matsumoto ignored us and started humming what I think was 'Single Ladies' .

Struggling to get up out of my cocoon of blankets and feeling wobbly already, I thought "Put a ring on it!"

I ended up rolling over and realizing mid-fall that I was, as expected, going to fall. Stupid hardwood floor.

I should've gotten carpet.

_.X.o.X.o_

I've gone a week and a half without seeing Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes. To be exact it'd be twelve days. That's good right? Maybe my clumsiness will wear off the next time I see him…if I ever see him again. What if I never see him again because he thinks I'm such a freak that can't speak and spills smoothies on people? Oh no! Why? I didn't do it on purpose!

Crap to the max.

Remember your breathing exercises Rukia. Breathe in, breathe out. Whew.

"_Hello? Are you there? Rukia?"_ Renji asked, standing outside of the apartment building, talking through the speaker and waiting for me to buzz him in.

Yup. Tonight I am going to a party with Renji to try and improve my inept ways.

Not really.

Got you there didn't I?

But I digress…Renji just wants to go hang out with his loud obnoxious friends and is forcing me to join. Fun times.

I look like I'm attempting to show cleavage when all there is is just a flat collar bone dipping into an area where there's supposed to be 'tatas' as Nel calls them.

V necks only look good on people who have boobs and are somewhat curvy.

Which I am not…

"I'm here. Now shut up." I buzzed him in, searching for my apartment keys in my bag.

To my disadvantage, I am one of those people who have over ten keys on a small metal ring and take forever looking for that one needed key. Luckily, my apartment keys have Pokémon stickers on the top part.

Renji walked in, making me question how he knew the front door wasn't locked, and curiously said "You're wearing _that_?"

I scrunched up my nose in irritation. "Thanks fashion guru Renji, any suggestions?"

He laughed. "Untwist your panties and put tighter pants on and your leather jacket and then we're set."

My panties are not in a twist. Hmph.

Making it clear how I didn't want to get dressed again but knowing that what Renji wants Renji gets; I loudly sighed and trudged towards my room.

When I came back out he approvingly nodded and said "Much better. Now let's go."

It was only nine thirty when we left so I was hoping we'd leave the fun fest in an hour or so.

After a fifteen minute drive to lord knows where, Renji parked in front of a ginormous house with loud music and lights flashing different colors in the windows. Since when did I become a person who went to house parties?

Sensing my distress, Renji grabbed my hand and dragged me inside, not noticing as I kept tripping while walking towards the front door. How caring.

As soon as the front door opened I could feel the loud music blasting in my ears and pounding at my chest. Gosh, I'm probably gonna be deaf by the end of the night.

My first decision was that I regretted even walking into the stupid large oversized house.

Why?

Event 1) As soon as I got near the drinks Renji ditched me by giving me one of those "I'll be right back" moves.

So I stood there scanning the crowd of dancing college kids and watching as they 'bumped' and 'grinded'.

How vile. I thought, scrunching my nose up in disgust.

I stared at the punch bowl and served myself the pinkish red drink until it reached the top of the plastic cup. Why do I not trust this innocent drink? I have seen enough of those teen movies where those stupid teenagers get drunk off their ass because of spiked punch. Hmm, I'm definitely not one of those stupid teenagers. Eighteen year olds are totally wise.

I poured the drink back into the bowl and looked for something else. Oh, there's water… I think. Yeah, that's totally water. What else could it be?

Grabbing the pitcher full of water, I poured myself another plastic cup full.

A hand landed on my shoulder and I jumped, nearly spilling the contents in my cup all over myself.

I turned around and met a fairly, semi attractive face. Nothing compared to Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes of course. This kid looked really goofy though and had brown hair that was parted down the middle. "Hey, name's Keigo." He said with a bright smile.

I blinked at him. "…Hi?"

Gee creep, mind telling me why you're talking to me in the first place?

He laughed (Did I just say what I thought out loud?) and a boy shorter than him, around my height but taller than me, walked up next to him. "Don't mind him, Keigo's an idiot and feels really confident when he's drunk."

"Oh, no wonder his breath smells." I commented, thinking that it wasn't just the body odor in here that smelled horribly. The other guy smiled and nodded. "Name's Mizuiro." He said, holding his hand out for a handshake. What day and age did we revert back to? And since when were people this polite at house parties? Am I in the right universe?

Awkwardly, I shook it and tried to smile. "I'm Rukia…"

"Renji's friend?" Mizuiro asked, pouring himself some punch.

I nodded, watching as the partially drunk kid, Keigo, swayed from side to side with a lopsided grin and stared at me.

He reminds me of a ThunderCat with the way his hair is so wavy. Maybe he has claws…

"Yeah, Renji just ditched me and now I feel like some sort of creep just standing here watching people." I said, staring at my water and finally taking a large gulp of it.

Holy hell! My throat just went on fire! "What the hell kind of water is this?" I nearly screamed, coughing and hitting my chest.

Mizuiro laughed, although barely audible because of the loud thumping music in the background. "This definitely doesn't seem like your kinda place." He took my cup and dumped it on the floor beside me, ignoring the fact that it landed on Keigo's feet. Not that he minded. I'm pretty sure he was up in his own little world.

I nearly had to strain my ears with the few words the new person, Mizuiro was saying. Gosh does this guy seem to know what he's talking about.

"What do you mean?" I shouted, feeling like an idiot. I swear if I start yelling when the music stops I am _so_ walking out of here.

Smiling, Mizuiro sipped at his drink. "I'm just saying that…" You see, I would've known what he was talking about after that but I think I just drowned in a pool of drool and shock because for one thing, Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes had just walked in through the front door, and for the second thing, the stupid obnoxious music was causing me to go deaf in both ears.

"Uh huh." I nodded, mouth agape and pretending I was listening to Mizuiro when I was actually following every step Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes was taking inside the house…with a girl he had his arm on!!!!

Event 2) Stupid, _stupid_ idiotic college kids and their random ideas of throwing _stupid_ footballs inside of a house!

Still not paying attention to Mizuiro—well I tried to but once he started using hand gestures for something I stopped— my heart probably imploded with the sight I had just seen.

Amidst saying "Uh huh" again to chatter box Mizuiro and feeling moronic and teary eyed because of Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes and his might be undoubtedly beautiful _girlfriend_, the most unexpected thing happened that night.

"Hey Keigo! Here it comes!" Someone shouted over the music, standing with a group of friends across the room.

I am a delayer of my own reactions.

But I do recall that as this was happening and a flying ball was soaring through the air, I caught Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes, glancing at me.

OH GOSH! SOMETHING JUST HIT ME IN THE FACE!

AND IN FRONT MR. SPECTACULAR AMBER BROWN-ISH EYES AND HIS MIGHT BE UNDOUBTEDLY BEAUTIFUL _GIRLFRIEND_!

_.X.o.X.o._

I…I think I blacked out.

My head hurts like a bitch. What just happened?

My eyes were still shut and I groaned, trying to snuggle up to an unfound pillow.

Why is my bed so flat and uncomfortable?

"Is she waking up?"

"Think so." Giggling? Guys giggle? "She looks constipated."

"M-Momo?" I asked, rubbing at my head and trying to get up.

Why does it smell like sweaty people and alcohol?

I blinked my eyes open. "OH MY GOD!" That wasn't a good idea. I just hit my head on the wall behind me. Where did that wall come from?

"Hey!" A few people around me shouted in surprise.

Obviously I was wide eyed and had the expression of a shocked smurf. "WHERE AM I? AND WHY AM I ON THE FLOOR?" I screamed, staring up at the group of people surrounding me.

"Calm down sister, you're safe with us." Someone answered, his expression mellow and apparently happy.

Sister? Who is he calling sister? I'm not his sister! I don't know him!

"She looks like a cornered mouse." Was that Keigo? "Come here little mouse girl." Oh, yes. That's Keigo and his stupid goofy smile and his wavy ThunderCat hair, offering his hand to me.

I slapped it away angrily. I am not a mouse girl! I do not eat cheese off the floor! Although I did do that once…but that was in second grade and someone dared me to! Plus I got a quarter for doing that…

"Settle down Rukia, you just got hit in the face by a football." IN FRONT OF MR. SPECTACULAR AMBER BROWN-ISH EYES. NOT FAIR. "You're fine. You just got knocked out for a while." Renji said, popping out of nowhere and kneeling by my side, placing a hand on my head.

Where the heck have you been, traitor?

Pshh, leaving me to fend for myself with these _morons_. "Ow." I replied, glaring at him and massaging my head.

"Rukia! How many fingers am I holding up?" Asked Keigo, his hands suddenly in my face.

"I can't see them." I huffed, blinking again.

"Oh no! She's blind!" A girl gasped from behind him. Keigo gasped as well and sort of flailed around in front of me.

"I'm fine." But my head hurts and I'm going to put a chimpanzee down somebody's pants if I don't get out of here.

I looked up at the crowd that was still surrounding me, although some leaving and deciding I was fine. Geez, I didn't die if that's what they were waiting for.

Although I might as well have since I just got smacked in the face by a FOOTBALL in front of MR. SPECTACULAR AMBER BROWN-ISH EYES!

"Are you sure you feel okay?" Mizuiro asked, standing beside me and looking down at me with a bit of a smile on his face.

My only response was: "WHO THE HELL HIT ME IN THE FACE?"

_.X.o.X.o._

It turns out no one manned up to saying who hit me. Thus I'm not ever going to a party until I find the culprit…

Of course I would've gone home that night, yelling at Renji while driving me home for this lovely night, miserable.

But I _definitely_ would've felt a lot better if, while walking out the door and having Renji give me a piggy back ride (simultaneously cooing at me and mocking me), I didn't see Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes and the girl he walked in with beside him, watching me (Mr. SABishE, not his _stupid _might begirlfriend) with an amused smirk on his face as I was being lugged to the car.

What the hell is he looking at?

Shouldn't he be wondering if I'm fatally injured or suffering from severe trauma of losers who don't know how to throw a stupid football?

WELL?

…

I'd feel and think angrier if the girl Mr. Spectacular Amber Brown-ish Eyes isn't so beautiful. I'm not saying she's drop dead gorgeous. She just has nice black spiky hair, a pair of knockers that seem to look good on her and not fake (I think), and a better body than I have, and a tomboyish, tough appearance that just makes men want to run to her or possibly away from her. I even saw Renji stare at her for longer than ten seconds. That never happens unless we're window shopping together and he sees capes.

The girl does look like she can beat up anyone though. I'm glad I'm not some crazy bitch who runs her mouth nonstop and then ends up in some intense cat fight. Why do they even call it a cat fight? Women aren't even cats. They're just men with occasionally larger butts and large front areas. Plus we bleed from an unwanted area…Too much info? Yeah I think that's a bit too much…

When I got home it was almost ten fifty and I was ready to bust out The Little Mermaid and bitch like the adult that I am about Ariel falling in love way too fast. Honestly, hasn't she thought of divorce problems? What if Prince Eric turns out to be some cheating jerk that just wants sex and leaves her because he sees some hotter babe like Lady Gaga? _Also_, Ariel is only sixteen! Who does she think she is, Jamie Lynn Spears?

Kids these days!

Interrupting my thoughts, someone knocked the door and I jumped.

Gosh, I live in a world of bats. It's eleven and I am _trying_ to watch Disney movies. Doesn't anyone understand who crucial to my day that is?

"Who is it?" I shouted, wrapping my Harry Potter blanket around myself and attempting to get off the couch

"Hi, does Rukia Kuchiki live here?" Well this definitely isn't Renji. He never sounds this flustered when talking to me.

I blinked and opened the door, meeting an unfamiliar face.

"Who the hell are you?"

* * *

**a/n:** i love classic coca cola bottles. i have one. amazinggggggg. anyway, yes. took me forever to update, but whatevs. the story goes on. horrendous? atrocious? totally fantabulous? wonderfully yummy? push my favorite button to let it go on. mhm. you got it. go right ahead babycakes.


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